Goodbye, Marlee

December 18, 2009

Marlee has been on a steady decline for a couple weeks, with the worst being the past 9 days since she stopped being willing to eat and would barely drink. In those nine days she transitioned from peaceful and sleeping a lot, to last night seeming scared and in pain. It was a rough night. My daughter and I sat up with her for most of the night. It was heartbreaking to see how hard she was struggling. We had hoped to support her through to a natural death, but once things got so bad for her I realized that this is not like hospice care for people where you have pain relief and anxiety relief to offer to someone. She seemed desperate for our company, and we gave that to her, but it wasn't enough. This morning we made the decision to take her to the vet to have her put to sleep. It seemed the most compassionate option for her. She deserved such a much better life than she got before she came to us, and she deserved peace and rest at the end. Now she is out of her pain and resting, snuggled up in one of my children's cozy red blankets. We buried her under one of our apple trees, right near the play fort. Marlee was always happy when the kids would come out to play, even though she was limited in how much playing she was able to do with them. She now has a beautiful, shady resting spot where we will think of her often.

Having Marlee in my life has been a challenge, but it was one that I was clear on when I accepted it. She needed us. We said yes. And we loved and cared for her as best we could, all the way to the end of her life.

Marlee gave us many opportunities to choose to give when we might rather have not. Her needs reminded us to stretch and continue to love and care, simply because it helped us do what we wanted to do for her, and be more of the people we want to be. Her patient acceptance of her limitations, and her joy at the parts of life she could experience were admirable. Her kitty cat friends will miss her, I know. They would always come right over to snuggle with her when she was outside.

Thanks to all of you that helped us out when finances were so tight that we did not know how we were going to be able to care for her properly. Thank you for getting involved. Thank you for investing in this sweet doggie. She was worth all of it.